


amazing grace

by hyunibunni



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Christmas Cookies, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Family Drama, Gay Panic, Ice Skating, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rated teen for language, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, Slice of Life, Strangers to Lovers, and winter in general, felix and chan are cousins, jeongin likes to watch hyunjin suffer, jisung hates christmas, minchan are engaged, teachers! minchansung
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27938228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunibunni/pseuds/hyunibunni
Summary: jisung doesn't believe in christmas miracles. but maybe after running into hyunjin too many times to be coincidence, he'll start to change his mind.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix & Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	1. a stranger as sweet as vanilla

**FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6TH**

jisung walks into the bar, blasted with warm air and yet he still brings his palms up to his face and blows on them to ease his frozen bones. he's not used to this place smelling like cinnamon and coffee, though he supposes tonight isn't like every other night. there's low chatter in the air and over it all, someone is singing a soft melody with piano accompaniment. jisung doesn't know many christmas songs, in fact he makes an effort to _not_ know them, but even he knows _white christmas_. it's the beginning of the song, the gentle voice just finishing the word 'know' from the very first line, yet jisung is already intrigued. which is more than he can say for the jisung of just two minutes prior.

when he's at the front of the line the waitress asks him how many he'll need a table for. "my friends are here somewhere," he says, smiling sheepishly and moving out of the line like he could've done earlier instead of holding up all the people after him. minho spots him first as he glances back to see jisung walking slowly towards the front of the room. he stands and catches jisung's eye, waving him over to their little table meant for two, adapted for three.

"i was starting to think you weren't going to show," minho says, giving jisung a hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek. he sits back down and jisung moves to give chan an awkward but loving, one-armed hug as well,

"i promised you i would," jisung retorts, unwrapping his scarf from his neck as he sits down, "i'm hurt after all these years you still think i'm a liar."

"you lied to me just a few days ago about the sandwiches in the staff room!"

"to be fair," jisung rids himself of his jacket, hanging both it and his scarf off the back of the chair, "if you _ever_ paid attention in conferences you would've known those were for everyone," he teases.

"you know, halloween was over a month ago," minho fires back, "you're supposed to be nice to people now."

"that's not nearly as much fun," he hums, settling into his seat and the performance. jisung's eyes wander to the singer. his voice has a little more power behind it now as he's getting into the second chorus and jisung smiles lightly, watching the blond man glow with ever-growing confidence.

the singer, sitting on a stool surrounded by dim fairy lights and more people than he'd expected would show, is a stunning individual with a voice like warm, sweet honey. he's dressed in timeless business casual; a fitted white turtleneck hugs his torso, and his long legs are covered by tasteful, tan, houndstooth pants. a brown blazer rests over his lap and jisung thinks he sees the glimmer of a gold cross necklace hanging in the middle of his chest. his eyes are deep and jisung might be imagining things but he thinks the singer looks right at him, so jisung grins. he doesn't entirely mean for it to come off as flirtatious, but he thinks it might because there is a moment where the blond man falters just slightly and his eyes widen.

slowly, singer smiles at him, charming, innocent. it, and a curious blush, join the number of beautiful features on his face. it fills jisung with a gentle twist in his gut and honeybees that buzz against his heart, creating a baseline in his ribcage. he wasn't expecting to come here and practically drool over the first stranger he laid eyes on, but he can't say he minds.

"he has a great voice," chan remarks as he gets to the last chorus. jisung nods absently, watching him bring one of his hands up and gently hold the side of the microphone stand as if it's slightly off kilter and that tiny touch is enough to straighten it out. his hands are delicate and littered with simple, but expensive looking rings.

he finishes the song and the crowd gives him a well deserved round of applause that has him smiling nervously and ducking his head as he makes his way off stage. jisung follows him with his eyes, selfishly delighted when the blond glances at him across the room, bottom lip snagged between his teeth. they don't hold eye contact long, as he quickly meets back up with his own friends. he sinks into his chair and practically puts his whole back to jisung as he says something to the one with the black hair.

"that was great!" someone new on the mic exclaims, a little too enthusiastic for the atmosphere _white christmas_ created, "hey man what's your name?" the guy looks up, startled and apparently unable to speak, rescued by his black haired friend calling out,

"hyunjin!"

"everyone give hyunjin another round of applause!" they all comply and hyunjin looks mortified. jisung thinks this is a shame because he looked so beautiful in the spotlight. the emcee up front introduces a new singer but jisung stops paying attention in favor of ordering a coffee from the waitress who comes up to them.

"i can't wait for the school year to end," minho sighs tiredly when she's gone.

"it's not," jisung laughs, leaning his elbows on the table, "it's just winter break."

"i know!" minho whines, "i just need it to get here quicker. i already have so much grading to catch up on and then the midterms— ugh, it's too much."

"maybe if you didn't give so much homework you wouldn't be swamped," jisung shrugs smugly.

"just because _your_ students pay attention and learn without homework doesn't mean mine do."

"doesn't that say more about you as a teacher than the brain capacity of the students you're trying to blame it on?" jisung asks, narrowing his eyes playfully.

"wha— no!" minho sputters, "i teach _history_ you ass, i'm lucky if i have more than two students in each class who find it as fascinating as i do." he glances at chan, "are you just gonna let him harass me?" he asks with his eyebrows raised, daring chan to side with jisung.

"of course not, love," chan hums. he leans over to jisung, "pretend i'm telling you off," he says, "it'll make him happy." jisung laughs, not really selling the idea that chan scolded him but he doesn't care. minho groans,

"gee thanks," he says with a sideways frown that knows no malice, "you're really doing a great job sticking up for me." chan laughs lightheartedly and kisses minho's cheek. jisung lets his eyes drift to hyunjin, absently thinking that it feels odd to fondly put a name to his face when they've never met. he looks more comfortable now, settled in with a hot drink that reminds him he hasn't seen the waitress with his coffee yet. he glances over at jisung again, this time aware he's being watched because his black haired friend was already looking in jisung's direction and tipped him off. instead of being startled like he's been almost every other time they've made eye contact, he smiles shyly, and who would jisung be if he didn't return the favor?

"i'll be right back," he tells the couple, ignoring minho when he asks where he's going. he stands and makes his way to hyunjin's table across the room. and now, seeing him getting closer, hyunjin is back to his, now rather typical, slightly terrified expression. his eyes are as wide as saucers and his lips are parted just a touch. it's like he's short circuiting and jisung knows it might be cruel of him to think so, as he's clearly going through something, but he finds it rather cute.

up close hyunjin is even more beautiful than jisung thought possible. he takes a sip of his drink, eyes cast downwards as he clearly tries to compose himself. his friends on either side are watching jisung with obvious interest, the one on the left more curious and excited while the one on the right, the one with the black hair, looks wickedly mischievous and ready to bully hyunjin for this moment of, what jisung hopes is gay panic and not outright discomfort, for months to come. he can't say he's surprised given the way the right friend has been whispering and looking at jisung with sharp eyes the whole night like some kind of spy.

"hi," jisung says, stopping at the table, directly in front of hyunjin's seat on the opposite side. hyunjin, as well as both of his friends, knows he's talking to him and he looks up cautiously like jisung's going to yell at him or something. jisung offers an easy smile to calm him, "i don't mean to interrupt your night but i just have to tell you, you have a beautiful voice."

"oh gosh," hyunjin flushes, his hand flying to his heart, "thank you."

"i _told_ you," his devilish friend grins triumphantly, elbowing hyunjin in the side, hard enough to make him wince, "he's shy about it," he tells jisung exasperatedly, "we told him he has to be more confident," he gestures to the stage, "i'm surprised i'm still in one piece after shoving him up there. all that kicking and screaming, he was practically throwing a tantrum about it for nothing," he tuts.

" _jeongin!_ " hyunjin hisses, looking betrayed and ready to tackle his friend to the ground. his sudden change in behavior has jisung devastatingly interested. he wants to witness more of this playful hyunjin if he can, "i did _not_!"

"he's right," jisung pipes up, keeping his eyes on hyunjin, loving that it's making him squirm, "you really have nothing to be self conscious about."

just like that hyunjin's back to being shy, "thank you," he murmurs, smiling around his words.

"of course," jisung raises a hand, waving as he steps back, "have a good night."

"you too." jisung walks back to his table and he thinks he hears the friend, jeongin, say what sounds suspiciously like, 'the hell was that? he was so into you and you just sat there blushing like an idiot!', swiftly followed by a mess of noises from hyunjin. jisung smiles to himself as he approaches his own table, already getting looks from minho and chan.

"what was that?" minho asks the second he's sitting back down.

"i was being nice," jisung shrugged, "isn't that what i'm supposed to do this time of year?"

"don't be smart with me," minho snaps, "you were playing romeo!"

"i was not!"

"yes you were! you don't think i can tell when someone's flirting? you were so obvious!"

"and?" jisung prompts, picking up his coffee that got delivered while he was talking to hyunjin, "what if i wanted to be obvious?"

minho squeals with delight, "then i'd say job well done, he was practically swooning!"

"i don't know about swooning," jisung snorts, glancing over minho's shoulder at the other table. the three of them looked like they were all huddled up having a very serious conversation, "to me it looked like he wanted to curl up under a blanket until next year."

"yeah," minho says with a roll of his eyes, "because he was embarrassed in the cute, 'oh-my-god-a-handsome-guy-is-talking-to-me' kinda way."

"what did you even say to him?"chan asks.

"i told him he has a beautiful voice," jisung shrugs, taking a sip of his drink and relishing in the rush of warmth that slides down his throat to his toes.

"that's it?"

"yup."

"aw," minho cooes, "he was so worked up over just that? that's cute, i can only imagine how red he would turn if jisung complimented his face. god, that guy is pretty," minho glances behind him, getting a good view of hyunjin's (admittedly very pretty) side profile, "so, when's the first date?"

"what?" jisung sputters, "no, i didn't ask him out. he doesn't even know my name."

"you're ridiculous," minho deadpans, slumping back into his chair just for a second before jumping back up again and pointing an accusatory finger at him, "at this rate you're going to be single at our wedding!"

"i'm not _required_ to have a date at your wedding minho," jisung grumbles.

"yes you are! _i'm_ not letting you come unless you have a date. you'll embarrass me! imagine, my best man showing up alone," minho huffs dramatically, "and we're in no rush so it could be years and by that point you might as well give up and die alone! you aren't going to be young and handsome forever!"

" _years_ is a little excessive," chan mumbles even though neither of them are paying attention.

"christ," jisung groans, "you sound like my mother."

"look," minho says, reaching across the table to grab jisung's hand, "i love you, you're my best friend, you're an idiot but you're smart, and sweet, and romantic, and you're constantly complaining about wanting a boyfriend!"

"i only do that because you two are so gross, it makes me feel so alone." jisung glares at them.

"you say that but subconsciously you just want a boyfriend and complaining about me and chan is an easy way to cover up all that frustration and loneliness."

"i didn't come tonight so you could tear my love life apart."

"will you just listen! i've never seen you so interested in someone so quickly and i can't believe that for all your complaining you aren't even going to _try_ and shoot your shot. just... think about it. you have time before the end of the night."

jisung glances over at hyunjin another time. like something out of a god damn movie hyunjin tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear as he looks over and meets jisung's gaze. jisung doesn't want to say hyunjin looks hopeful. because then if jisung doesn't do anything, while knowing for near certain that the other party involved had been waiting and willing, then jisung would be an idiot for letting him get away. he doesn't want that on his conscious. but it's impossible to deny that there's something in the way hyunjun's staring at him that's telling him to go for it. and hyunjin's obviously too scared to take that first step himself, even for all the pushing and shoving of his friends.

"i will," jisung says, still watching hyunjin, "later."

"good. christmas miracles happen all the time, sung," minho hums, resembling an old sage with the way he's practically staring through jisung's skull to watch the gears in his brain churn, "you never know, he could be _the one_." minho's comment snaps him out of it and he snorts as he picks up his drink. if there is one thing he won't be doing, it's putting his faith in a stupid holiday and the 'seasonal magic' it doesn't have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me how you're liking it! i'd love feedback <3


	2. the state of regret, party of one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the love on the first chapter! enjoy, mwah <3

**TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10TH**

"mr. han!" minho sing songs, bursting into his classroom with his hands full as he balances two cups of coffee, his phone, and a thick folder from the mail room. jisung looks up from his papers, twirling his red pen loosely between his fingers, "coffee, you look dead," minho shoves one of his drinks towards him and jisung takes it graciously.

"thanks," he mutters, taking a big gulp, indifferent to burning his tongue in favor of a caffeine boost. he cringes when his taste buds are assaulted by seasonal peppermint flavor and too much milk.

"oh hang on," minho takes it back after seeing his reaction and checks the label, only to hand him the other one instead, "don't worry," he says, "i know how you take your coffee."

"i hope so," jisung has another sip to drown the sugary taste in his mouth with a wash of bitter, "you're only my best friend."

minho nods to that and has a sip of his own coffee, glancing around the room. jisung's waiting for him to once again comment on how bare it is and ask him if he wants any of the extra decorations he has laying in a bin at the bottom of his classroom closet. for once it doesn't come but jisung can tell he's really making an effort to hold his tongue, "how long have you been here?" he asks. jisung taps his phone screen to see the time, seven forty, as he could've guessed because of the steadily increasing number of kids outside in the hallway.

"a few hours, i got in at five to get all this shit done." if chan was here he would be scolded for using foul language on school property, but minho usually doesn't care as long as there aren't younger kids around and jisung is glad because frankly he doesn't have the energy to listen to any nagging.

"i thought you didn't give homework," minho says, coming around the desk to peer at the student work as if he understands it.

"i don't, i've been going through quizzes i have yet to grade."

"you're the worst!" minho exclaims, "that was from november!" he points to the filled in date of a paper on top of the pile with obvious distaste for how jisung runs his classroom.

"i've been grading their online practicals! they're worth more points, and they'll have time to put in corrections for the paper sections anyway, not to mention every time i get a second to breathe someone comes up with more questions," he pauses, narrowing his eyes, "my system works fine, fuck off!"

"okay, okay," minho puts his hands up, walking back to the front of his desk. he looks at the windows. jisung has to stop himself from groaning because he knows what's coming but students are starting to filter in for first period and acting quite childish in front of them would not be in good taste. he smiles at one of his favorites sitting in the back of the room, only for minho to wipe it off by asking, "are you sure you don't just want like, paper snowflakes or something?"

minho's room, much like his and chan's apartment, it's covered top to bottom with glamorous holiday decor thanks to the spirit and designer's eye that only minho has. from the lights he hung to frame the doorway and windows, to the red garland swinging overhead, tucked into the removable ceiling tiles he has it all, even a small tree that he let students decorate on the first friday of december. most of the teachers do a little something, decorate their doors or hang cutout gingerbread men across their chalkboards.

even chan, who enjoys christmas but hasn't a single artistic bone in his body has his room decked out for the season. granted, minho basically does it all for him because, 'i have a reputation to uphold and i will not let people go around thinking i'm marrying someone who doesn't have any holiday cheer', but it temporarily puts jisung at the bottom of the cool teacher list he knows every student has.

and minho's been trying for years to get him to participate in the festivities. the first year when minho learned jisung hated christmas he made a list of all the reasons he should enjoy it, along with a box of his finest decorations that were all returned to his room within the hour. the second year, he snuck in before classes started and decorated his room, thinking the forceful method would get him to lighten up. jisung just took everything down the second he got in. the third year, minho put little things all around the room, so insignificant that jisung didn't even realize until a student said she liked the sneaky elf perched on the top of the window. he later forced minho to tell him where all his little bits and bobs were hidden. then minho resorted to getting students to bully him into liking christmas. at this point minho just gives him puppy dog eyes in hopes that one day he'll cave. but jisung isn't chan, so his charms are useless.

it's not really that jisung doesn't like christmas as a holiday, but to him it's nothing more than an excuse to get trashed. when he was growing up his family didn't celebrate, they aren't christian, and they were close but not in the wholesome, family time, we-use-our-words-to-solve-our-problems kind of way. moving out, jisung kept up with _his_ traditions of not decorating because it's too much work, not having a fancy dinner because it's just another day, not listening to christmas music because it's too happy and joyful when the world is full of slushy, dirty snow and mean, entitled people who throw tantrums when they can't get a sale on that expensive toy for their snobby little kid. minho says he's a grinch, jisung thinks he's realistic.

"no!" jisung scowls, poking him hard in the stomach with his pen, "my room is fine, now leave me alone i have grading to finish." the bell rings and minho narrows his eyes, then turns on his heels and jisung knows he got lucky, saved from another lecture, likely until the end of the day.

❄️

minho pokes his head into jisung's room, watching him hunched over at his computer typing furiously like he's still in college and has a paper due at midnight that he has yet to start. minho knocks on the door behind him to get jisung's attention and he looks up startled,

"oh, hey," he says.

"hey, chan and i are heading out do you want us to wait?" minho asks and chan, who stayed back to finish packing up comes up to him now, sticking his head in next to his fiance. jisung shakes his head,

"no you guys go ahead, i've got stuff to finish." he looks off, like he's got something on his mind and doesn't want to intrude even though he hardly would be since they're just walking to the parking lot before parting ways, and minho's pretty sure he's making up things to do because he was nearly done with his grading when he crashed jisung's lunch period. he knows it has something to do with that guy, hyunjin, from the bar, it has to be because he's been like this since hyunjin left early while jisung was in the bathroom. the look on his face when it had passed twenty minutes and hyunjin still wasn't back, therefore truly gone, was that of pure devastation. though minho would give him points for hiding it well to the rest of the event patrons who don't know him like minho does.

minho's been friends with jisung for some time now, and in that time jisung has shown very little interest in finding a partner, mostly because he says he'll just know when he sees someone worth going after. and minho thought it was a complete bullshit excuse to cover up some deep rooted insecurity he wasn't ready to talk about, but after seeing how jisung acted around hyunjin after mere seconds of introduction he was starting to think maybe jisung really was just waiting for the right moment. and he certainly found it.

minho wishes desperately that he could find hyunjin to give them a second chance. jisung deserves it. but he can't. and he knows jisung wasn't prepared for the hurt that followed hyunjin's swift departure from his life. it seems even as small as their interaction was, it really resonated with him, and now he has a whole bundle of emotions gnawing at his heart that he doesn't want to talk about even though minho offered to listen. as jisung's best friend, it breaks his heart.

minho can't even get mad at him or turn it into a lesson about taking chances, indecisiveness or some other bullshit because he knows jisung had every intention of talking to him before the night was over. the event was held at a bar but the atmosphere wasn't one for mingling, rather chatting and enjoying a night out with your own friends. jisung hadn't wanted to interrupt or take hyunjin away from his crowd, especially not so early in the night.

maybe hyunjin wouldn't have minded: his friends looked all too ready to shove him into jisung's arms. but even though it ended up bitting him in the ass minho has to respect jisung's decision to wait it out, to approach him again at a more reasonable time. it wasn't his fault that hyunjin bolted so soon, and minho doesn't even think hyunjin planned to as he looked a bit frantic explaining to his friends that he had to go while he shoved his arms into his coat. not to mention the fleeting glance he spared at the bathroom door just before he left. silently begging jisung to come back.

"okay," minho nods slowly, smiling at jisung though its barely returned. they're given a half assed wave before jisung goes back to his computer, clearly telling them to leave without him. so they do. minho shuts the door quietly and falls into step next to chan as they make their way through the school to the front of the building.

"he'll be okay," chan assures him and minho can't help but sigh,

"oh i know," he says, "i just feel so bad. they would've been so cute together."

"well maybe if the universe wants them together they'll meet again," chan suggests, pulling minho close to him by his waist, just so he can press a kiss to the crown of his head. minho stays close by his side, latching onto his arm.

"what a romantic thought," minho laughs, "but it's a load of bullshit, all that shakespeare is getting to your head."

"says you, mister, 'christmas miracles' and 'star alignments'! who was the one who told changbin that all he had to do to land his promotion was to _believe_?" chan wiggles his fingers dramatically as he reenacts the encouraging words given to changbin by his fiancé.

"that was a joke!" minho whines, cutting himself off as he pushes the main entrance door wide open, freezing air slapping them both in the face with a terrible sting. minho feels around in his pockets for the keys to the car, unlocking it while they still have a ways to walk so he won't have to fumble with it when they arrive, "we all knew he was going to get it! he was worrying too much and it was getting on my nerves. he needed to lighten up!"

"you did get him to laugh," chan muses.

"of course i did," minho replies smugly, looking to chan with a devilish grin that has chan rolling his eyes, "you really think jisung will be okay though?" he asks, worry clouding over his eyes.

"i do," chan tells him, "he can handle himself, love. he's not going to fall off and become an alcoholic or push his friends away. i think you're overthinking this. it's not like he and that guy were dating, they talked _once_. things happen and the guy had to leave, it sucks for jisung but truthfully he'll move on."

"but it's been days and it's so obvious he's still thinking about him!" minho protests, ready to march back into the school and give jisung a bear hug to lift his spirits, "you act like they didn't have a connection but they did! even if it was for a second!"

"love, if he's still moping after a month, then you can intervene," chan tells him gently as they stop next to the drivers side door, "until then, stop meddling and let him be an adult on his own." minho isn't entirely convinced and it must be clear on his face because chan laughs and gives him a kiss, "i know jisung as well as you do," chan reminds him, "he'll be okay."

minho nods, lips pursed as he spares one more glance at the school where jisung is all alone with his thoughts and his collection of colored gel pens, "okay." 


	3. family traditions and second chances

**DECEMBER 12TH / THURSDAY**

"mother," minho greets through gritted teeth, pausing his tv show and glaring at it as if the poor characters are the reason she's interrupting this wonderful morning, snowed in and not required to attend school, "can i help you with something?"

 _"minho, my baby,"_ his mother cooes, not catching the annoyance in his voice, _"i was just calling to ask when you'll be on your way to the house?"_

minho blanches, taking his feet off the ottoman and sitting up properly, "what?"

_"christmas? it's been years minho, have you been so busy you forgot family traditions?"_

"no," minho lies, "i was just going to call you actually, to tell you i can't come."

 _"what?"_ minho winces. he'd hoped she wouldn't take offense to that but he should've known better with her, _"nonsense you can't come! you didn't come the last time either! you'd rather spend your christmas alone than with family you haven't seen in years? and after staying home the last time with the stomach bug? how rude of you lee minho, i raised you better than that! tell me your plans, come on then, if it's really so important that you disappoint your mother then you'd better be hosting your boss or the queen of england!"_

"no, i..." minho trails off biting his lip, "it's just that chan will be left alone if i go home."

 _"what in the world has your roommate got to do with this?"_ his mother exclaims. minho stands up and begins pacing to rid himself of the nervous energy that's steadily building up inside him. he opens his mouth to respond just as chan, with the worst timing in the world, walks in with groceries. he sees minho frozen, staring at him and gives him a confused look. minho can't bring himself to give a response, _"well?"_ mrs. lee presses. minho can't stop staring at chan and he regrets it because now he's forced by his own hand to watch chan's reaction in real time,

"he's not my roommate, mother." chan points to himself, mouthing a silent 'me?'. minho nods slowly, "well he is... but..."

she's angry now, _"that doesn't answer my question minho."_

"he's my fiancé, mother."

 _"fiancé?"_ his mother shrieks and minho doesn't even register how loud she is because he's too busy watching chan's face sink into a confused frown. he turns away, walking to the window in hopes that watching the people below will help ease his nerves.

"yes, mother."

_"and you didn't tell me? how long have you been engaged? and to a man! lee minho how dare you not tell me you were interested in men! i'm your mother!"_

"well don't feel so bad, i haven't told anyone else," minho mutters.

 _"don't ignore my questions! how long have you been with him?"_ she presses.

"four years in january."

she just continues raging excitedly as if she didn't hear him, _"oh and the ring! i bet it's quite the rock isn't it?"_ minho looks down at his hand to the simple gold band with a single, neat diamond sitting in the center. he'd never felt self conscious about the size of his ring, truthfully he could care less if chan had bought him a three thousand dollar fourteen carat white gold band with a three stone diamond set in the center, or proposed to him with string he tugged off an old, fraying sweater. but his mother has a fun way of creating new insecurities for him to fixate on until he realizes the stupidity of it all, _"oh i can't wait to see it! and to meet him of course, i can't believe you didn't tell us the news!"_

minho almost tells her he tried many times, but doesn't because there are alarm bells going off in his head, "hang on, meet him?"

_"well, of course! there's no way i'm not meeting my son's fiancé right away and you have to come home for christmas anyway so just bring him along!"_

"mother i don't know if that's—"

 _"oh this is so exciting! i can't wait to discuss all the details of your wedding— you know i never got to help much with your brothers, they were much too uninterested as it were and, well, i felt bad giving their brides so many of my personal opinions when they had their own mothers to discuss with,"_ minho rolls his eyes because that has to be the biggest lie of the decade. she wormed her opinions into every little detail and thought he doubts any of his sister-in-laws would admit it, he's sure they both wanted to rip his mother's head off by the time the actual wedding rolled around, _"so, you just give me or your father a call with your plans, though, don't make it too late, okay? i want you here by the twentieth at the latest, oh, and stay until new years, just like always okay? now, i've gotta run! remember, no later than the twentieth!"_

she hangs up on him before he can protest any more and minho runs a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh. he hears chan close the refrigerator behind him. then, "why did you lie to me?" he asks, still in the kitchen judging by the distance of his voice. he chooses his words carefully and has enough tact to phrase it like a genuine question, which truthfully minho doesn't think he deserves right now. but chan is a better man then he'll ever be. minho turns to face him. he hates that chan is so hard to read.

"look, just let me explain, okay?" he says frantically and chan lifts his hands in surrender,

"i'm not mad, minho," he assures him, "i'm just confused, and disappointed obviously, but i'm not mad."

"look," minho sighs, "it's not like i didn't try, chan. i tried _so_ many times to tell them but... i mean, it wasn't just the engagement i had to tell them, i wasn't even out until five minutes ago! and in about an hour everyone will know," minho waves his hand dramatically as if his family is sitting on their couch, "and honestly, part of me didn't want to tell them at all! my parents aren't like yours chan, they're the most selfish, frustrating, and materialistic people i've ever met, and i don't know if you've noticed but they don't exactly make time to talk to me when they have grandchildren to be spoiling and fancy tea parties to be having with their country club friends— don't give me that look, you think i'm kidding but i couldn't be more serious. they have little sandwiches and everything— whatever, the point is, i _tried_ but there came a point when i got tired of being the only one reaching out just to get nothing in return. so i gave up."

"okay," chan begins carefully, "but again, why did you lie to me?"

"i don't know, okay?" minho groans, hanging his head, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes, "i'm sorry, i am. i didn't want you to think that, me not telling my parents meant i wasn't excited or... i don't know." he hears chan move and drops his hands to his side, watching chan carefully. he isn't sure what he's expecting, but he breathes a sigh of relief when chan simply wraps him up in a hug, holding him tight.

"it's ok, minho," he says. then after a beat he asks, "what did she say that suddenly inspired you to tell her everything?"

minho sighs, "my family has this tradition every five years to meet at my parent's for christmas. it's just an excuse to get everyone together now that we're all moved out." chan says nothing, just nods and minho can feel his cheek brushing his hair. so minho continues, "apparently that's this year and i don't know what i was thinking, but i threw out your name as an excuse, 'cause i'd feel bad just leaving you here if i went home. but then of course, 'why does your roommate care if you're not there?' so, i had to tell her."

"she didn't even know we were dating?" chan asks, appalled. minho raises his eyebrow,

"i mean when we first started dating i mentioned it, but i refused to give her any details—"

"like the very important fact that i'm a man?" chan teases. minho just glares at him,

"i didn't give her any details because it was new and i didn't know we'd end up here. after a while she just stopped asking. i guess she just wanted a little reassurance that i wasn't going to end up single forever and it was enough for her. anyway, now she's probably not going to stop pestering me until she gets to meet you— oh god, my brothers are going to have a field day once they hear the news," minho drops his head to chan's chest, arms draped over his neck, "i'm going to figure out a way out of this."

"would it be so bad to appease them? just for a few days?" chan asks.

"they'll tear you apart chan," minho deadpans, "they'll tear _me_ apart! they'll act all excited and polite but it's just a front so they can drill us about our relationship as if they're writing a piece on the 'wild gays' for national geographic!" chan laughs and minho knows it sounds ridiculous but he can almost guarantee that's what it will feel like when they ask a million questions and over half of them are ignorant, subtly homophobic, and sexist, like, 'who's the man in the relationship?' or 'oh my god, can you take me shopping?', which minho fully expects to hear from his cousin hana.

"well, it's up to you. we can go, you can go, or we can both stay home and do christmas like we always do." minho softens, seeing chan's gentle smile.

"you're too good for me," he says.

"i think i'd have to disagree, love," chan hums, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss. they're interrupted by the rumble of minho's stomach and chan laughs again, "lunch?"

❄️

jisung hates himself for being late to the stop, especially in this weather, which appeared out of nowhere and after the past few days he's been having jisung is half convinced the universe just likes laughing at his misery. not only does it feel like negative thirty degrees, it's practically a blizzard outside with some of the most intense winds he's ever seen and experienced, and snow coming down in buckets. it's all doing a great job at keeping his eyelashes coated in white and his lips a dangerous shade of purple. and of course there's no taxi's running in this stretch, of course he's already half way to the next stop so there's no point in turning back to take shelter now, and _of course_ his phone is dead so he can't call minho.

he's stopped at a crosswalk, really debating making a run for it while there's no one in sight to take advantage of the green light, when headlights pull into view behind him and his window is gone. he spares a sideways glare at the vehicle, only to find it's slowing down instead of turning, despite being in the turn lane with a green arrow. he watches warily as the window rolls down and someone's leaning across the center console to call out to him,

"hey!" jisung blinks, whipping his head forward, eyes wide. that voice sounds familiar, "you need a ride?" even though more cars join the first, the light turns red so they're technically not blocking anyone anymore while they wait for jisung to acknowledge them. he peeks around the streetlight pole to catch a glimpse of the owner of the car, spotting none other than the beautiful blond who jisung hasn't been able to get out of his head since he first laid eyes on him. hyunjin. jisung doesn't know if it's because hyunjin recognizes him from that night or if he's just happy that jisung is considering his offer, but he smiles, "this light won't be red forever!" he says, raising his voice over the wind and low rumble of his engine, "i promise i don't bite! just thought i'd offer!"

the light turns green and jisung has a split second while hyunjin's still watching him, waiting for him to move. while jisung normally wouldn't even consider getting into a car with a total stranger, even in this weather, he's transfixed by hyunjin's easygoing smile and does about the stupidest thing he's ever done in his life. the car behind hyunjin honks and jisung makes a dash for the passenger door. hyunjin throws the car into park, unlocks the door, and speeds off the second jisung is inside before the impatient person behind him can think about getting out to give him a piece of their mind. jisung situates himself, fastening his seatbelt and leaning back for a moment to relish in the hot air hyunjin has blowing in his face.

the car is neat and compact. it has leather seats that are soft and inviting, warmed from the air conditioning unit blasting them before jisung sat down. it smells new, with a fresh tinge of sweet lemon, but he can't tell if it's from the air freshener clipped to the vents, or if it was recently cleaned. hyunjin has low music playing: holiday tunes on xm radio.

"thanks," jisung says breathlessly after he's had a moment to adjust.

"sure thing. where uh, where are you going?" hyunjin asks, glancing at jisung with a tiny smile before he's looking at the road again, chewing on his bottom lip. he relays the address to his apartment building and they fall into an awkward silence, though jisung's racking his brain for things to talk about. he doesn't want to let this opportunity go to waste but he isn't even sure hyunjin remembers him —and the last thing jisung wants is to be a weird, overly friendly stranger who makes hyunjin regret his decision to help. he's made no indication so far that he knows jisung and it makes him feels a bit foolish to be sitting there with his heart pounding erratically, overflowing with excitement because he's getting a second chance. meanwhile, hyunjin seems perfectly fine and otherwise not at all affected like he was back in the bar when jisung said two words to him and he turned as red as rudolph's nose.

"do you usually offer rides to strangers?" jisung asks.

"no," hyunjin laughs, "but i recognized you under the streetlight and we've met so..." he stops at a light and spares a grin in jisung's direction, "i figured even though you didn't give me your name last time we spoke i could at least offer some warmth."

"you remember me," jisung hums, immensely satisfied to hear it.

"of course i do," hyunjin looks like he's stopping himself from continuing as he quickly shuts his mouth and turns back to focus on the light. then he surprises jisung by continuing, "i wish i could've stayed longer," he says, "my sister needed a babysitter though. her oldest broke his arm, the neighbors weren't around, and i live close anyway so..." to jisung, his slight oversharing sounds a lot like an apology. like he knew jisung was looking forward to talking to him again, like he promised they would, and yet he so rudely stood him up. so now that he's given the chance to explain himself he is. even if there was never such an agreement and he doesn't have to feel bad, jisung quite likes the hopeful warmth that fills his chest upon hearing hyunjin's regretful tone, "was the rest of the night enjoyable? the performers, i mean, were they any good?"

"yeah they were alright," jisung nods, "i think you were the best though."

"i'm already driving you home," hyunjin laughs, "you don't have to flatter me."

"i know," jisung tells him, "i'm just being honest."

"oh, thank you," hyunjin's shy again.

"was that your first time singing in front of a crowd?"

"technically no," hyunjin relaxes in his seat, one hand falling away from the wheel to rest idly on the center console. his fingers twitch like he's eager for something or someone to hold, "i sing at my church every sunday, but i grew up doing that so it's not, like, scary? i don't know singing in public for people i don't know still makes me nervous even though i guess i do it all the time 'cause i definitely don't know everyone that attends sermon."

"well, i've said it before and i'll say it again, i don't think you have any reason to be nervous. you have a natural gift, really."

"oh stop it!" hyunjin whines, reaching for the temperature dial, "you're making me blush," he mutters. jisung laughs, but respects hyunjin's wishes in favor of looking out the window at all the snow swirling around them. they're approaching his building, he can see it ahead, and jisung feels a pit grow in his stomach as his time with hyunjin comes to an end.

hyunjin pulls up to the curb and they sit for a moment while jisung stalls, situating his hat and scarf for no reason. he knows hyunjin's watching him but with nothing left to talk about and no time for conversation anyway, jisung has no other option but to make his leave.

"thanks again," he says, looking at hyunjin one more time, "you really didn't have to do this."

"it was no problem!" hyunjin replies pleasantly with a dazzling smile, "i would feel terrible if i just let you freeze to death."

"you should still let me repay you sometime," jisung says, continuing before hyunjin can argue as he knows he's about to because he's is opening his mouth the second the words leave jisung's tongue, "i know it might not have been a big deal, but you still took time out of your night so i'd like to thank you properly. if you'd let me." hyunjin looks completely taken aback, gaping at jisung like a fish and once again he knows it might be cruel of him to find delight in hyunjin's panic but he can't help it when the streetlight overhead is illuminating the flush on hyunjin's cheeks, and his eyes are wide, innocent like a deer. he's just so cute.

"yeah," hyunjin breathes. he swallows and reaches across jisung's lap, rummaging around in his glove box for a receipt and pen. he scribbles down a collection of numbers and presses it into jisung's hands, not meeting his eyes, "i'd like that," he says. jisung feels his heart swell and his muscles relax with relief.

"cool," jisung finds himself saying, like he's an antisocial teenager unsure of how to act when someone invites him somewhere, "i'll call you then." he manages to remember to smile and he knows it comes across as normal and genuine because it's contagious and hyunjin can't stop himself from reciprocating. before he does something he'll regret or otherwise stay up all night crying over, jisung opens his door and steps out onto the curb.

"wait!" hyunjin calls, reaching his hand out as if he can reach the door to stop it from closing. jisung stops, turning with confusion written on his face, "you still haven't told me your name," hyunjin reminds him with a curious tilt of his head. jisung laughs,

"it's jisung," he says, "have a good night, hyunjin." 


	4. a change of plans

**DECEMBER 14TH / SATURDAY**

jisung wants to laugh every time he sees changbin in public. not because he's awkward or dressed ridiculously, in fact changbin is arguably one of the best dressed people he knows and as his paycheck is significantly more than a teacher's he's able to satisfy his expensive tastes with only the best quality jeans and a collection of leather boots that probably could pay jisung's rent for a few months at least. no, jisung wants to laugh because whenever they're in public, changbin is always the one getting stares from women passing by. he doesn't blame them, changbin's an attractive guy.

he's like one of those edgy frankenstein teddy bears people rip apart, put back together, and sell on etsy stores. he's a kind and generous friend, and he gives fantastic hugs, but he covers himself in black eyeliner, silver accessories, and faux fur to the point where he could easily step onto the stage at a rock concert and no one would know the difference between him and the lead singer. and jisung will forever find comedy in the irony that is women ogling from afar, working up the courage to talk to him, blissfully ignorant to the simple fact that changbin isn't interested in anyone with a vagina.

"you know," changbin starts, the second he meets everyone else out front of the restaurant, "this is just about the queerest thing we could possibly do."

"no, wearing _leather_ pants is just about the queerest thing you could do," minho says, giving one of the belt loops on changbin's pants an inquisitive tug, "these are hot."

"thanks," changbin beams, "i just got them."

"reservation for bang chan?"

"you guys even made a _reservation_?" changbin sneers judgmentally as they follow the older hostess into the restaurant, "what kind of homos are we that we're reserving tables at fancy breakfast restaurants to have brunch!" jisung puts his hands on changbin's shoulders, leaning over next to his ear,

"shut up and have a nice, gay, dick-loving meal with us binnie," jisung hisses, "or are you too straight for that?" changbin, as per usual, makes unfortunate eye contact with a young woman in a little, blue dress. it's entirely too skimpy for the weather and though it's very nice, this isn't exactly the kind of restaurant where one should be wearing such form fitting and breast lifting clothes. she isn't the only one though, her whole table of friends scream trust fund barbie look-alikes. she's looking at changbin like she wants to eat him and jisung is thankful he doesn't have the same struggle. he catches changbin give the woman an unimpressed look, followed by the glorious look of shock on her face.

"god, i need a fucking boyfriend," changbin mutters grumpily, sending jisung into a laughing fit even though he's just as single and miserable as changbin is. though, maybe if things go in the general, romantic homosexual interest direction with hyunjin, that won't be the case for very much longer. it would be quite the personal victory, getting a boyfriend before changbin after they all joked he'd be the last. not to mention the privilege to call someone so gorgeous and sweet as hyunjin _his_.

"will you two behave?" minho begs as they sit down at a booth. jisung blinks at him,

"i'm not sure what you're talking about," he says stiffly, sticking his nose up and crossing his arms like an entitled, middle aged woman just one second away from calling for a manager.

"put you two in the same room and you're like children," minho mutters, picking up the menu in front of him. jisung's playful pose falters and he sinks back into the seat.

"i don't remember minho turning sixty years old," changbin says lowly, getting a feeling that minho wasn't in the best mood, "are you going to scold us the whole time for enjoying ourselves or are you going to let us live?" he asks, eyeing minho down, looking like he has no trouble walking out on them if minho's going to keep his weird, stressed parent act up. and jisung can't say he wouldn't be hot on changbin's heels. minho has quite a temper and while it's very rare that it comes out, jisung has experienced it before from a bystander's point of view. he isn't too inclined to be on the receiving end.

"damnit," minho curses under his breath, "i'm sorry," he sighs, "i'm sorry, i've been really stressed recently... well, nows a good a time as any: chan and i aren't having christmas at ours this year."

"what?" jisung exclaims at the same time that changbin's jaw drops, "but you _always_ do christmas." every year jisung and changbin had known the couple they'd done christmas at their place. they spent most of the day together, had a big dinner after much mindless squabbling in the kitchen, and got stupid drunk like college kids at a frat party to finish off the night. it was the one time of year _for certain_ they would all be able to get together and over the years, looking forward to it was the only thing that kept jisung sane throughout the holiday season.

"well, we're going to my parents for christmas," minho tells them, "believe me, i'd much rather spend it like we always do, but my family can't wait to get their hands on him," minho jabs his thumb in chan's direction, "so, i guess that's what we're doing. just thinking about it is making me want a smoke."

none of them know much about minho's family. he refuses to talk about them and the bits and pieces jisung has heard have all been negative side comments or spits of frustrated rage only lasting seconds before he gets a hold of his emotions. they stress him out, that much has always been clear, and jisung can't imagine how much more stressful it will be to see them all in person after so long, _and_ introduce chan at the same time.

"if you don't want to go that bad then why bother?" changbin asks, sipping on their complimentary iced water, "i mean, they've gone this long without meeting him, you clearly are don't want to go, chan seems pretty indifferent..." he trails off and looks at chan who's yet to say a word.

"i told minho i'd leave it up to him," chan shrugs, putting a hand on minho's thigh under the table, "it's not that i don't want to meet them, i do think it might be nice since i'm marrying their son and all, but i know how he feels about them and it's _his_ family anyway so i think it's more important that he does what's comfortable."

"okay, so since you don't want to," changbin's addressing minho again, "it doesn't seem worth the effort."

"i know but feel like i owe it to them, my immediate family in particular," minho replies, "my mom called me to see when i was coming and in a lame attempt to get out of it i mentioned that i couldn't leave chan here, completely forgetting that she didn't know about us or, you know, that i'm gay. i think as much as they don't deserve it i should be an adult and talk to them."

"you're not out?" jisung asks for clarification, eyebrows furrowing deeper as more confusion and shock washes over him.

"well, now i am," minho sighs, "i'm not sure i prefer it to being closeted though."

"you weren't exactly closeted," changbin points out with an eyebrow raised, "that was, like, one of the first things i learned about you."

"i meant closeted to my family. and over the past two days i've gotten more phone calls from family members than i have on any of my birthdays. they're so nosy," minho huffs, "and, i couldn't help but notice that _all_ of them had some kind of speech prepared about how supportive they are of 'the community', like they're suddenly trying to get on my good side or something. it was so weird."

"mine did the same thing," changbin sympathizes, "it's like they feel like they have to prove they're not homophobic, and for some reason just talking about every gay person they've ever met is testimate to that? it makes no sense if you ask me."

a young waitress, dressed in a company t-shirt and slacks, with long auburn hair tied into a braid down her back, comes cautiously walking up to their table. "sorry to interrupt guys, but have we had a moment to look over the menu?" she says with a bright smile. jisung thinks it might be her first day so he, like minho, gives her a kind smile to ease her nerves because she looks like she's shaking as she fishes her little notebook out of her apron. changbin goes first and they make quick work of relaying their orders in a clockwise rotation around the table. she leaves them with her name and a promise to get their orders in as soon as she leaves.

"well, enough about me," minho says, resting both his elbows on the table as he peers mischievously at jisung, "have you told changbin about your recent infatuation?"

"i'm not _infatuated_ with him!" jisung hisses embarrassedly.

"you are to!"

"no i'm not!" jisung point a threatening finger, "we are not talking about that, no fucking way."

"you can't just leave me wondering!"changbin exclaims, shaking jisung's shoulders, jostling him back and forth, "tell me, tell me, tell me!"

jisung glares at changbin the whole time he's being assaulted, "no," he says with finality that has changbin doing that pout thing he does when he wants something from jisung. it only ever works on him and he has yet to stand his ground when the puppy eyes come out, even for all his claims that it's ineffective. this morning isn't any different. he sighs, head falling to changbin's chest in defeat, and minho claps his hands giddily,

"you know that night we went to the bar for that charity event they do every year? you were running over stuff with the producers and went late so you didn't come."

"yeah."

"well, jisung met this tall, expensive looking, blond guy. a real beauty, great voice, i personally would've approved a thousand times over. not to mention he was so obviously into jisung. he complimented his singing and made the guy all flustered—"

" _jisung_ made someone flustered?"

jisung punches changbin in the arm, moving as far away from him as he can get just to be petty, "fuck you," he growls, "i will leave right now if you're just going to bully me."

"don't you dare," minho orders, giving him a look. he turns back to changbin, "and he could've gotten the guy's number but he waited too long and he was gone when jisung got back from the bathroom."

"are you kidding me?" changbin groans, "what the hell were you waiting for? if i had that chance i would've taken it right away."

"i didn't want to interrupt! he was with his friends!" jisung says to defend himself as he looks frantically around the restaurant for their waitress, praying their food will be done soon so they can dig in instead of gossiping about his love life, "besides i ran into him again and made sure to get his number, so i don't know why," he glares at minho, "you're making me sound so useless."

"what if you hadn't seen him again?" minho muses, clearly not about to change his stance on the matter.

"i'd suffer i guess," jisung shrugs, all too nonchalant. he knows deep down he would've continued to mope and berate himself for weeks if he hadn't run into hyunjin a second time. he knows he's lucky to get a second chance but he's not going to let minho have the satisfaction of hearing he was right and jisung should've just asked him out right off the bat.

"well, what's his name?" changbin asks, sounding genuinely interested. jisung decides to move back in, his butt no longer practically hanging off the cushion.

"hyunjin."

"and when's the first date?"

"oh, i haven't..." jisung looks briefly at everyone at the table. changbin's face dares him to finish that sentence if he wants to be smacked in the face, minho looks like he's lost all hope and is going to call him useless again, and chan is hiding a look of amusement behind his water glass, "look, i was just going to wait until the school year ended to text him."

"and remind the class of when you got his number," minho requests with his best, sugary sweet, teacher voice that's dripping with condescension and makes jisung want to kick him under the table. he manages to hold himself back.

"thursday night."

"so you're going to make him wait almost a _week_ to hear something from you? you know, guys like that don't stay single for long, sung. and they don't stay interested for long either, especially if you aren't paying attention to them."

"why do you think i asked minho out after knowing him for just forty-eight hours?" chan asks rhetorically to prove minho's point, making the latter positively glow, smiling in delight and giving chan a dramatic smooch on the cheek.

"i can't believe he didn't report you to the school board," jisung mutters, "that's so creepy."

"yeah," changbin agrees, sharing a mildly disgusted look. they're saved from even more of their friends' lovey-dovey doting as their waitress comes up with a big tray full of food. they forget about the topic of hyunjin, but minho's warning is on replay in jisung's mind and he mentally yells at himself to get it together before he lets hyunjin slip away again. 


	5. dinner and a show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas, if you celebrate and happy holidays to everyone who doesn't!!

**SUNDAY, DECEMBER 15TH**

he didn’t text hyunjin at all on saturday. he spent half his day grading every last assignment, which included a pile of online work, all in varying amounts of design, skill, and detail, that had him hunched over the computer for hours. he spent the rest of the day planning out his first ever text to hyunjin, which was pure hours of unnecessary self critique and ended with him sitting on the floor of his bedroom, staring himself down in the mirror as he tried to talk himself out of the weird, doubtful headspace he ended up in. for some reason it was so much easier to talk to hyunjin in person, when he didn’t have time to overthink every word he said.

this morning jisung woke up at a decent hour, with plenty of time before noon struck and because it was still morning he had no excuse to not text hyunjin about coffee alongside an apology for not reaching out earlier. hyunjin was nice about it, naturally, assuring him that people get busy and he completely understood. but, if jisung had thought for two seconds about their conversation in the car, he would’ve remembered that hyunjin sings at church every sunday and therefore is obviously not available until later in the day. and perhaps they would’ve planned to grab lunch or something, but hyunjin was texting him up until the moment the sermon started so their goodbye was rather hasty.

jisung spends the rest of the day _not_ thinking about hyunjin. he’s _not_ waiting for him to text back, and he’s _not_ disappointed when practically the whole day goes by and he’s heard nothing. like hyunjin said, people get busy, he needs to stop letting the silence get to his head. so to distract himself jisung decides he’s going to make himself a big, expensive dinner that will definitely take longer than he intends it to because he always overestimates his skill. he knows it’ll end up with him frustratedly abandoning it to order a pizza and cuddle up on the couch to watch reruns of competition baking shows that will inevitably make him wish he wasn’t so useless in the kitchen. it’s a tragic cycle but as smart as jisung might be when it comes to math or coding, he’s rather stupid in regular life. one day he’ll learn. but not today.

so at around five thirty jisung hauls himself into his car, which is finally back from the shop though he doesn’t think it should’ve taken that long to change oil and switch out his tires, and pays a visit to his local grocery store. with a list folded thrice stuffed into his coat pocket he grabs a cart and stashes his hat and gloves on the children’s seat in front as he starts towards the vegetables at the front right side of the store. it isn’t until he has only a few items in his cart and he’s been standing in front of the meats going back and forth between spicy or regular sausage for his sauce that someone taps on his shoulder. he jumps and only makes the other person flinch away. when he realizes that it’s _hyunjin_ jisung feels his cheeks redden in embarrassment even though he finds an easy smile slipping into his lips just seeing the other man.

“hyunjin, hey,” he says.

“hi!” hyunjin greets him cheerily, “i thought it was you, so i just figured i’d talk to you in person instead of texting you,” he grins sheepishly, “i just wanted to tell you i wasn’t ignoring you all day.”

“what? no, don’t worry about it, people get busy,” jisung says, even though he’s secretly relieved, “i didn’t think you were ignoring me.”

“i know, i know, it’s just that i meant to make plans with you before going m.i.a, but i had sermon and then i got hung up at the church past lunch, and then my mom called me and wouldn’t stop talking and talking, and then it was like three and i realized i forgot to eat like all day, and _then_ my sister needed me again because her husband is still out of town and i finally got back home,” hyunjin takes a deep breath to slow himself down, “so, i was going to make an early dinner but i didn’t have parmesan,” he holds up the tub of grated parmesan, “and it’s really important to the recipe.”

“cheese usually is,” jisung agrees very seriously, making hyunjin laugh a little behind his hand. he rocks back on his heels and looks down at the parmesan,

“and i was actually thinking that maybe if you aren’t busy, i know this is horrible timing because you’re in the middle of shopping, but, would you like to forget about coffee and come have dinner with me instead?” hyunjin looks up over his long lashes, biting his bottom lip as he always does when he’s nervous. he kind of looks like he wants to die but he just waits patiently while jisung takes a moment to processes. he thinks his head is spinning. did he hear that right? hyunjin’s house for dinner. after they’d talked _twice_. he isn’t sure what happened to the old, flustered hyunjin but he can’t say he’s mad at this new confidence. even if hyunjin still looks like he wants to die because he’s taking so long to answer him.

“i’d love to,” jisung says finally. and hyunjin beams, though his sigh of relief isn’t lost on jisung’s ears,

“really?”

“yeah,” jisung nods, “uh,” he looks down at his cart.

“if you have to finish shopping that’s fine, i can just send you my address and you can come over after?” hyunjin suggests before he has the chance to get a word out. jisung laughs,

“no, no, i’ll just put it back,” he says, “i was getting stuff to make my own dinner so now i won’t need half the stuff on my list, i’ll come back another time for the essentials.”

“oh,” hyunjin’s face drops, “if you had plans to make dinner i don’t want to—“

“no, hyunjin believe me,” jisung interrupts, “letting you make me dinner is one hundred the best thing for my stomach and my kitchen. i can’t cook for shit,” he laughs, “but sometimes i like to try.”

“oh,” hyunjin pauses, lips pursed. then he smiles again, “well how do you know i’m not a terrible cook too?”

“because you wouldn’t invite me over for dinner if you were,” jisung points out, maneuvering the cart so he’s behind the handle, next to hyunjin, and begins walking back the way he came to put everything away, “instead, you’d ask if i wanted to get takeout or something. that’s what i would’ve done at least. there’s no use in pretending to be good at something you’re not when you’re trying to impress someone,” hyunjin might think jisung doesn’t notice him grinning at the floor, but he does and it’s adorable, “they’ll just end up disappointed and you’ll be a liar— it’s a mess.”

“of course,” hyunjin agrees, “that’s just common sense.”

“common sense,” jisung echos. he spares another glance at hyunjin as they walk to put his cart back in the stalls for someone else to use, “what are we having?”

“pumpkin and parmesan pasta!” hyunjin chirps. they approach the line for self checkout and get in line behind a lady with a full mini-cart of stuff. jisung resists the urge to tell her off as he normally would just because hyunjin’s standing next to him and he doesn’t need to scare off his new friend by making him listen to jisung complain about how rude it is that some people take their whole shopping carts to the area meant for people with just a handful of things. so he glares at the back of her head instead, hopping karma will bite her in the ass later. “it’s one of my favorite recipes,” hyunjin tells him. a machine opens up and they make their way over, “i think it’s my grandmother’s. i learned it from my mother, so i think it got passed down.”

“well i can’t wait to try it.” hyunjin pauses with his finger hovering over the pay option on the screen, just to share a sweet smile with jisung. he wonders if the people around them think they’re a couple. he’s not blind to the way hyunjin’s looking at him, lingering for a moment longer than he needs to with his eyes wide and his lips parted just slightly in awe like he can’t believe this is happening, and he knows his own interest in this man isn’t getting lost in translation. at least, if hyunjin’s blushy cheeks are anything to go off of. jisung thinks he would like very much to hold hyunjin’s hand on the way out to the parking lot. he would like if the random people in the store saw them together and thought, ‘what a cute couple.’

❄️

jisung drives separately to hyunjin’s apartment. hyunjin waits for him before going in, leading him into a stairwell where they go up one flight and then enter the door that says ‘TO 2ND FLOOR’ in big black letters.

and jisung thinks hyunjin’s apartment is adorable. he’s all decorated for the holidays; the doorframes and archways are wrapped in gold garland, there’s vanilla scented candles lit in a few different spots he can see (concerning because that means he just left them burning while he went out), his tree is to the left by the tv, covered in simple gold and red balls, and there’s little snowmen figurines scattered everywhere throughout the apartment, on the coffee table, on the half wall, on the windowsill. it’s warm and inviting, there’s soft christmas music playing through a bluetooth speaker he’d left on, and when a black and white dog with a beautifully shiny coat comes charging up to him with its tail wagging excitedly, jisung decides he never wants to leave.

“well hi there,” jisung cooes, dropping to his knees to greet the dog, letting it stand on his thighs as it reaches for his face and neck with its tongue.

“that’s pepper,” hyunjin tells him, walking into the kitchen just to the right of the door, “she’s a sweetheart but if she’s too much just let me know and i can put her in my room.”

“no! no, she’s fine,” jisung gives pepper lots of loving scratches behind her floppy ears, “what type of dog is she?”

“border collie.”

“she’s really pretty.”

“thanks! she was our family dog and then when i moved out and my parents finally retired they gave her to me. she’s my baby.” jisung stands, taking his shoes off like hyunjin had done before joining him in the kitchen, pepper hot on his heels. she goes over next to hyunjin and lays down right at his feet, “what?” he asks her, continuing to stir his sauce on the stove, “you already ate dinner, this is for daddy and his friend.” pepper just tilts her head, waiting for him to drop something.

jisung laughs, sliding into one of the seats at the island. hyunjin moves to the fridge to grab something, briefly throwing a smile over his shoulder, “so,” he starts, “let’s get the boring questions out of the way. what do you do?”

“i’m a teacher.”

“really?” hyunjin pulls his head out of the fridge to get a good look at him with playfully narrowed eyes, “you don’t look like a teacher.”

jisung puffs out his chest and puts on his best douchebag smirk, “i’m a cool teacher.”

“any teacher that says they’re a cool teacher, isn’t a cool teacher.” hyunjin deadpans.

jisung deflates with a good natured laugh, “okay smartass, then what do i look like if i’m not cool teacher material?”

hyunjin thinks, lips pursed, raking his eyes up and down jisung’s torso, “maybe, like, a bartender or a barista?” he grabs what he was looking for and goes back to the stove, “you have like a, laid back, free-spirited kind of vibe and i usually think teachers look more cookie cutter and lame.”

“oh man, i can’t wait to hear what you think i teach.”

“art, obviously.”

“that couldn’t be more wrong.”

“what is it?”

“coding.” hyunjin stops, fixing him with wide eyes and an agape mouth. jisung just smiles at him, amused, until he gets his shit together and cocks his head,

“i didn’t think you’d be a _nerd_.”

“hey!” hyunjin throws his head back in laughter, “okay, okay, so i’m a huge nerd, i bet your job isn’t any cooler.”

“oh yeah? guess what i do.”

“what?”

“no you have to guess.” so jisung tries to guess. they play a quick little game of hot and cold where jisung stays strictly in the cold zone. architect, lawyer, therapist. cold. chef, secretary, accountant. colder. actor, bank teller, real estate agent. coldest. and finally, he’s rescued before he can embarrass himself even more with his apparently limited knowledge of what jobs people have, when hyunjin has a moment to turn to him with his arms crossed, “i’m a dentist tech,” he says.

“are you kidding me?” jisung exclaims, “dentists and doctors are like the nerdiest people ever and you’re telling me you think teaching code is more nerdy than that?”

“of course it is! you literally look at numbers and computers all day! and you’re probably really good at math! i don’t need math to clean people’s teeth!” hyunjin’s raised eyebrows dare him to argue and even if he wasn’t already so on hyunjin’s side that he wouldn’t dream of such a thing, jisung knows that he’s right anyway.

“okay fine,” he concedes, “i’m a big fat nerd. happy?”

“yes.”

throughout dinner, jisung learns that hyunjin is a great cook, as expected. hyunjin got into dentistry because it pays good and he didn’t find any other course of study particularly interesting. which, as jisung would find it a little odd if he’d said he was genuinely fascinated by _teeth_ , he supposes is a good enough reason as any to become a dentist. hyunjin assured him he doesn’t regret it though, and he has many things he thinks he’s decent at like writing poetry and singing, but he prefers to keep those as hobbies rather than jobs. jisung can respect that.

hyunjin’s a christian and has been his whole life, and doesn’t get annoyed or weirdly offended, and he doesn’t even launch into some rant about how jisung is going to hell when he in turn replies that he isn’t religious in the slightest. he has pretty, simple tattoo of the north star on his left forearm because his mom used to call him her little star when he was a kid. jisung just knows with the way his eyes shine when he talks about her that she means a lot to him. he’s been thinking about getting another dog or maybe a cat, to keep pepper company while he’s at work. his favorite color is purple, he loves winter, his favorite kind of music is pop (or really anything he can sing along to), and maybe they couldn’t be more different but jisung thinks he’s absolutely perfect.

he helps hyunjin clear the table, insisting on it when the latter tries to tell him to sit back down because he’s the guest. he ends up drying the dishes after hyunjin washes them, setting them in a nice little pile for him to put away later. and then there’s a silence that fills the air when everything is cleaned up and it seems like it’s time for jisung to go. he was invited for dinner and now dinner is over. it seemed to go by too quick.

he starts to push himself away from the counter, trying to think of something to say that won’t make his regretful departure seem so pathetic, only to be pulled back by hyunjin who steps forward and takes hold of his wrist in one of his hands,

“do you have anywhere to be?” he asks. jisung holds his eyes for a long moment and realizes they are incredibly close. so close he can see just how deep and kind hyunjin’s eyes really are. he can really see that cute little mole under his left eye. and then hyunjin figures out why jisung is just staring at him and he turns red all over again. “i mean,” he starts again, softer, slower, “it’s just that i was thinking about making christmas cookies tonight too and since you’re here and all… unless you have to go, that’s fine too i just thought…”

“i’m a terrible cook,” jisung reminds him. his voice feels strained, like a whisper, like he doesn’t want loud words so break the glass bubble that has them trapped in each other’s gazes. he dares a glance at hyunjin’s lips.

“i know,” hyunjin says, “you can be my taste tester. it’s a very important job.”

“okay.”

maybe jisung has school tomorrow morning, and maybe staying at hyunjin’s until midnight making cookies wasn’t the smartest idea for his sleep schedule. but truthfully he wasn’t even paying attention to the time because hyunjin turned up the music and bossed him around —“crack two eggs in here, no not like that! christs sake, here i’ll do it. go measure the flour instead”— and he’d never admit it but it was so fun to push his buttons just a little, to just be stupid enough so he could watch hyunjin laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation he got himself into before shooing him away to fix it.

and he watched hyunjin sing at the top of his lungs, much prouder than he had that first night when he performed white christmas for a room full of people. he sang with no care for perfect tune or correct words, and sometimes just to get back at jisung for all his purposeful fuck ups, he would pretend he was listening, only to blink and sing along to the music in the background when it came time for an answer. karma, jisung supposed.

and jisung would never tell hyunjin he hated carol of the bells and deck the halls usually gave him a headache because in hyunjin’s house they weren’t so bad. maybe, just maybe, jisung didn’t mind silent night this time and maybe he joined hyunjin for the last, wildly over dramatic chorus of the main theme from the grinch. and maybe jisung left hyunjin’s with not only a plate full of cookies, but a hopeful heart. 


End file.
